Pre Brides-To-Be by Lydia Dorsey

Our good friend, Lydia, sent this blog she wrote after being inspired by our All Signs Point To Yes Proposal. I was just thrilled to hear she was inspired, but funny how irony would have it; after reading her words, I felt the one inspired and therefore inclined to share her thoughts on proposals, weddings, and most of all healthy relationships. Now, words of wisdom from Lydia Dorsey:

As pre bride-to-be’s, we watch our closest friends get married, enjoy all the critiques of the ceremony and reception, and think ‘At my Wedding I’ll do it like this’. This significant day is always in the back of our minds, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we are ready for marriage, or awaiting a proposal.

It is very difficult for most women to have the pressure of engagement looming around them. It’s particularly hard when friends around them are getting engaged left and right, not to mention if you’ve been in a serious relationship for awhile. I think the problem with society’s view on getting married is that there is a certain age, or a standard way to go about it. I love when I can guess the amount of times a woman will say to me at a shower or reception, “Soooo… when are we going to start planning for your big day?” I know they never mean anything by it, but it can’t help but add a weight to the pressure we feel already as woman. Yes, it’s exciting to plan a wedding, yes I know details that I would want, yes I’m in love with my boyfriend and can’t wait to plan our future together. But unless the couple is at a place where they are ready emotionally, financially and individually to make that commitment, the engagement itself would be meaningless; like a hollowed diamond that looks beautiful on the outside, but weightless on the interior.

So where does that leave woman before they are bride-to-be’s?  I think it’s as simple as this; be honest. When approached by others about an engagement, let them know that timing is everything. Don’t feel the need to explain your current situation; it only makes it look like your making excuses. Simply smile and answer that it’s all in the timing. The other important truth is to oneself. You must be self-assured and confident in your situation. Although others around you are planning weddings and accepting rings, do not compare, because it is their right time. It is dangerous to long for a marriage just because you want a wedding. Reassure yourself that you and your significant other know what’s best for you and your situation, and don’t care about the opinions of those around you. My Mother always used to say, “Don’t care what other people think about you, that’s none of your business.”

Now Ladies, if you have a fella’ that just won’t commit, that’s another article in itself!  And if you have one that soon will, make sure you send him straight to The Yes Girls.

Lydia's on the right

Thanks for your encouraging words. Let the weights be lifted off our shoulders ladies and enjoy your perfect timing.

Love,